The Winner Takes it all...

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules
The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear

But tell me does he kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When he calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all


The Winner Take it all, huh?

Hmm. For some reason this song has found its way to play randomly on my ipod. No joke. My Ipod hates me. It plays every song that could possibly make my mind think more. I don't wanna think, Ipod. Stop making me think. I'm trying to forget. Asshole!

No, really...There have been some songs that I don't even remember downloading (yes, I download, don't judge me) that show up on my playlist. Like that one song, One Last Cry. Beautiful song, but come on now!

What does that mean, though? The Winner Takes it all. It's obviously a song about a loss of love, but who is the winner? Is the person that broke their lovers heart the winner? Well, yes, right? They got what they wanted, they got you out of their life, and so in a way, they won. The loser standing small. This isn't a fair song. Am I missing the point? The person singing this song, is the loser and they're saying that The Winner is the person who took their heart and ran with it, and then tossed it off a cliff. Depressing song, I don't like it anymore.

I guess in my situation, I would be the loser. I know that I'm not a loser, like in life. But in the game of love, I've lost. But only for now. This reminds me of a "Sex and the City" quote. After Berger broke up with Carrie via post-it, Miranda reminds Carrie, "Why don't you take this time to think about what you want...Remember YOU?"

So true, Miranda.

Me.

Who is Jeff?

I've always known who I was though. I was always confident in who I am and what I want. Just fell in love with the wrong person. Stupid Me. That's what I need to make sure doesn't happen again. My girl Linda Eder sings "Why do people fall in love? Don't they know love is full of danger?"

So true. Right now, love can go to Hell.

No joke.

On a happier note though, I'm excited to announce that I only have six more shifts at the restaurant left and 12 more days until I'm reclined extravagantly on a massive jet crossing the Atlantic Ocean, seated next to Steve! Now this, this is the remedy to a broken heart - leave the country!

I am so SO excited for this trip. It is going to help me in ways that I never thought could be. New York is filled with memories and moments that only surface the sadness that I feel, so to be away from it - wow. I cannot wait. I will be one rejuvenated person when I get back. Thank goodness.

This blogging stuff is amazing, really. I have also been working on a memoir. I have no idea who wants to hear my story, but I think it is one that is full of truth and hope. I havent gotten to the "have faith, everything will be fine, it turns out great" chapter...as that part, has yet to happen.

God I was so stupid! Wow!

Anyways - I'm very sleep. So, I'm gonna get some sleep and wake up fresh tomorrow. Hoping to do some marketing for West Lethargy for Scotland and what not. Followed by Shrimp Slinging.

Good Night, Friends.

Sorry if moments of the blog are negative and depressing. It's not who I am...Trust me, they'll get better!

xo.