It's so funny, Life.
Every year, for the past, maybe 5 years, I've always gotten really emotional at the end of the year. It's not a sad kind of emotional - but rather a "we can accomplish anything, its going to be a good year, life is going to be great" kind of emotional.
A few things do this to me - First, it's the John Lennon song, Happy Christmas (War is Over), specifically the lyric:
Another year over. A new one just begun.
There is something satisfying about hearing that 'another year is over and a new one just begun.' Knowing that I am alive and well and growing is an incredibly satisfying feeling. A great way to end 2010 for me.
What was 2010?
Well, for me - 2010 was the year of growth and learning.
These are two things that should happen every year, and something we should all be open to. I feel like this year was a magical learning experience.
From taking a Page 121 show from New York to LA and back to New York, learning that our little play is being published in an anthology of plays, and my favorite experience had to have been my job. My whole goal with this whole theatre manger/aspiring producer thing is to know a lot about many things. So, I was an education intern at CSC, and with that internship, I became the Education Outreach Coordinator - these two opportunities led to me learning how to sharpen these skills. An opportunity presented itself to me at CSC when the GM needed some assistance in the GM Department. This led to a new position for me in which I became the General Management Assistant - Now to me, this was super cool. When I wasnt accepting to Brooklyn College, I had this "I'll show you" attitude. So, now, here I am, no MFA, and yet, I'm working on some of the greatest theatre that I've only dreamed of. Thanks CSC and JRJ for an incredible year - and looking forward to the months to come.
2010 also had some blah moments. It was the failure to another relationship - well, now, I take that back. Even though the relationship didn't work out - I learned a lot.
About what I want.
About love.
About what I didn't want.
About what I needed.
And about who I wanted.
Sometimes I still miss that relationship - aspects of it.
But in reality, I was so far from my true self when I was in that relationship. I wasn't the Jeff that I aspire to be.
I was pretty sad when that relationship ended - I think because I had the comfort of being in a relationship. I had a partner for apple picking, for carving pumpkins, for Thanksgiving, and for Christmas. All of these activities I love, I had someone, and now, this year - I carved a pumpkin on my own, I didnt pick apples, I didnt exchange with someone, and here I am on New Years Eve with no significant other. But ya know what? I had to experience all of that - because when I get to share these experiences with someone next year, I have a feeling that I'm going enjoy those experiences more than I ever have, because NOW I know what it's like to NOT have someone.
Also, I lost my beautiful Great Nonnon. This beautiful woman was 94, raised my grandmother and several other kids that are my wonderful great aunts and uncles. I think about them all the time - and feel so fortunate to have known her and to have been able to grow up knowing her. I feel honored and privileged to be able to say, i knew my great-grandmother. Rest in Peace Nonnon.
So, here I am. 10 hours left of 2010.
Another Year Over - A New One is about to begin. Make it a good one. Without any fear.
Good healthy. Best Wishes. And I hope all of your dreams come true! I am sending my wishes and love to my entire family and all of my friends. May 2011 bring you everything you wish for.
~JF
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmnL6Du_x9U&feature=watch_response
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